Clearly, I *may* have been being a little oversensitive. (Sidenote: I'm pretty sure "been being" is not proper English... Abby? Mrs. Heath? When did I lose my ability to write a proper sentence? Oh yes, sometime around the day I first started this blog.)
But, let me make my case anyway.
First of all, though neither of us grew up here, we've lived here for 8 years. EIGHT YEARS. We've had babies here, built a house here, screwed up our taxes every single year right here in America's heartland.
Second of all, though this might not be fair, I'm not really "from" anywhere else anymore. That's a-whole-nother story, but the bottom line is that the only place I have left to be "from" is here. And if I can't be from anywhere else, Ben doesn't get to be either.
What? I admitted it wasn't fair, but marriage isn't fair.
Thirdly, how many years do you need to be married to be "from" the same place?
Ohio is the best place anyone could ever be "from." It has given us the best years of our lives, and the least we could give back is some pride in claiming it as OURS.
If you're not from Ohio - heck, even if you are - you might have been programmed to believe that Ohio is not a cool place to be "from." Oh, how wrong you are. Now, to be fair, I can't speak for the whole state. I hear Cleveland is kind of a depressing place what with LeBron peacing out and the whole Lake Effect weather thing they've got going on. But here in the Miami Valley, we've got a lot to cheer you up.
Here are some highlights:
- We don't have traffic. If you hit traffic, start praying, because it means that someone got into an serious accident up ahead, and that's why things are slowing down.
- We can park in actual parking lots. There's only one place I go that has parking meters, and those are for charity, and you don't actually get a ticket if you don't put money in.
- Being in the middle of the country, many regional fast food favorites have eventually migrated here, including my favorites - Chik-fil-a, Sonic, and Five Guys, as well as Tim Horton's which made it here from Canada. (Full Disclosure: Dunkin Donuts hasn't shown up on the scene yet, which is profoundly disappointing.)
- Sure our economy is in the toilet, but housing doesn't get much cheaper.
- Renewing your license at the DMV takes about 6.3 minutes.
- Cheap and easy ways to learn anything you'd ever want to know.
- Readoption is a piece of cake. A few forms, one check, no court appearances, and BAM - your kid born in Rwanda officially gets a new name and a birth certificate. Sure it's a little anticlimactic. I almost asked the lady behind the window to find a gavel she could bang or something to make it all more momentous, but instead decided to count my blessings and sing the praises of Greene County.
- It's a swing state, which makes election years so much more exciting, and I'd like to think also makes my vote count more.
There's more, but the basic gist is that Southwestern Ohio is a cheap and easy place to live, with lots of good fast food.
Plus, I'm from here, which if you're married to me, is a good reason to be "from" here too.
By the way, this post is in no way a joke. I really love it here. Laugh all you want, just don't make me move.