A little nervous, a bit raw, and it ain't nothin yet

A year ago, I wrote this.

So, here we are a year later, and we're about to take a horrible grief journey with a dear friend as she and her baby spend a week with us over the anniversary of the day they lost everything.

We've been grieving with her from a distance, crying with her over the phone and texting, saying stupid pithy things on facebook. This will be the first time we'll have been together since the funeral, which was the first time we were ever together without him.

I'll probably be missing for a while. I'll be busy trying to let the ugliness of grief be ugly, trying hard to resist the urge to "make it better," which of course I can't. I'll be busy trying to balance the laughter that comes with watching our kids fight over toys and snort yogurt with the heaviness that has settled into a dear friend's reality.

It seems that there is a lot more I should say, but I can't seem to think of it right now. I'm sure this is not the last time this week I won't know what to say, and it's time I learn to be okay with that.


PS - I appreciate your thoughts and words this week, but I'm going to close comments on this one... it just seems to cross the blurry line between my story and someone else's... there's a newly functioning email link in the sidebar if you want to reach me.