Yesterday was one of the worst days I've ever experienced. We left our kids and drove to Alabama to be at a funeral for a close friend.
He died in a senseless, confusing, shocking way.
The wife he left behind is another close friend, and we drove 9 hours just to hug her and be there as she cried.
The son he left behind is Taly's age - old enough to sense when things are wrong; young enough he won't have precious Daddy memories.
We cried and prayed - more yesterday than I've done either of those things in a while.
We miss him. Ben will miss a dear brother. I will miss the way he loved my husband, and brought out so much good from him (and me). We will both miss the way he loved our sweet friend, and inspired a great love in her.
But, mostly, right now, I just miss heaven. My real home. Where there will be no unanswered questions, no pointless answers, no separation, no heart-wrenching grief. Where God's love will finally be enough for our darkest days - not by faith, but by actual, visceral, true experience.