Kindergarten

This school year started out rough. I planned our vacation right over the first day. Simon and Ben had to fly back early to be here for school. I was unprepared on many levels: 1) That school could possibly start as early as the 18th. I mean, really? 2) That in "real school" there are "absences" and "tardies." I was late every day last year for 9:00 pre-K and this year he starts at 8:15. Eek. 3) Uniforms. The girl who once wore gus macker men's boxer shorts to school as clothing is now mother to a rule-following young man who must be in logo-free polo shirts every day.

I at least managed to find all of the school supplies, including the very specific and elusive 6 x 8, 24-page spiral bound sketch book. I was minutes from stapling some copy paper together when I resorted to Amazon. I'm still delinquent in coming up with the smock that must be large enough to fit over his clothes, but not so baggy that it gets in the paint, but also can not go over the head.

But the ramification of all-day school that I'm living with now is one that you moms who have preceded me probably know all too well: the contempt.

I am the dumbest person my son has ever met. I swear. If this is 6, I am NOT going to do well with 16.

So far tonight,

• I've been blamed for the fact that he hasn't done his "homework," which is coloring two sheets. It doesn't actually appear to be due back to school. He told me I'm "distracting" him by asking him questions, like, "Do you want to watch a movie?"
• He indignantly demanded that he needs to do his "practice reading." The first two words of the book were "I have." He told me that he sounded them out and it says, "itch." I told him that that was a great guess, and explained about that little space that tells us where one words starts and one ends. He informed me just how wrong I am and that there is no way that I by itself is a word. I offered to read him the story and he told me that I couldn't because I would read it wrong.
• He has told me numerous times tonight that he's angry with me. Apparently for walking into the room.
• Pretty much if eye-rolling were a tone of voice (and I think we can all agree that it is), that's all I've been hearing tonight.

Day 5 of Kindergarten and my baby has already decided he's smarter than me. At least my two-year-old's temper tantrums are seeming adorable in comparison.