Two Conversations

This morning
Simon: Mom, we need to wear sunscreen.
Me: Who told you about sunscreen?
Simon: We need to wear some today because it's very hot outside.
Me: I don't have any, so we'll have to go buy some at the store.
Simon: You don't have any? You're a bad mom.


Has this kid been watching Dr. Oz or something? Oh, right, I know it makes me a bad mom. But, here's why I don't buy sunscreen:
1) My kids are the most beautiful shades of brown I could ever imagine, and it only gets more stunning when they run around in the sun.
2) I'm pasty-fair, but even I don't really burn that much, and if I do, I kind of like it, like I like the feeling of being sore after a work-out.
3) It costs like $10, and that's for the non-natural, standard brands. (This is also the reason I don't often buy/use moisturizer - a friend recently pointed out that sun exposure and dry skin are the leading causes of wrinkles, so check back and see the damage that my cheapness has caused to my face in about 10 years.)
4) As if I needed one more reason, this study came out, and it turns out that almost every brand of sunscreen is PHOTOCARCINOGENIC. Do you know what that means? Um, causes/accelerates cancer when exposed to the sun. Great.
5) God made the sun, he didn't make the sunscreen.

I know that there are about 8,000 ways to combat my logic. But cheapness and vanity trump logic; I hate spending money, and I love being a darker shade of pale for 3 months out of the year.

Oh, but do you know what trumps cheapness, vanity, and a study on photocarcinogenesis? Being told you're a bad mom by your own kid. So, we are now the proud owners of a giant can of (chemical-laden, generic, not-too-expensive) SPF 45.

This Afternoon
Me: Talya, don't throw your food.
Simon (in awe): Wow, mom you sure know a lot about food!
Me: I do? Like what?
Simon: Like how not to throw it. You should go to school and teach kids how to not throw their food.

So, you see, I didn't even need to buy the sunscreen. In my son's eyes, I redeemed myself just by asking my 2 year old not to throw her food. I'm a genius.

(Also, along with my $8 sunscreen, I purchased for myself an $8 moisturizer with sunscreen. Not sure much can be done about the past 31 years of damage, but we'll see.)