Thursday, September 17, 2009

Simon Mommy shouldn't, and other random things

Nearing the end of a rough day, I needed my daughter (who had just pooped in a bathtub full of toys) to come into the living room.

I stood outside the bathroom door, watching her try to get the toys I was soaking in disinfectant. Repeatedly, with increasing volume, I heard myself shouting things like,
"Talya come here!"
"Taly you need to come to Mommy!"
"Sweetheart please come"
and probably something along the lines of
"Dangit Mommy is tired, would you just get over here?!?!"

After watching me suffer, Simon summoned all his four-year-old wisdom and suggested, "Mommy, you just go. She'll follow you."

I stormed into the living room, followed by my suddenly obedient daughter and know-it-all son. He looked at me and said, "Mom, are you having a rough time?"

Quick commercial:
I made these hobby horses for my kids today. 
They LOVE them. I got the directions here, linked to by Lier at Ikat Bag, who has inspired me to create things for my kids. She does it much better than I - but I have fun looking.

Back to today's topic of things Simon says and things I shouldn't.
I am now watching my language. It's taken four years, but my son has finally picked up on my potty mouth. Really, I don't say anything that bad, but when Sy was born, I promised Ben that when our innocent baby started saying "sucks" "crap" and "pissed off," I would try to stop.
Well, he did, and I'm trying. Simon is holding me accountable - very vigilantly I might add. So "stinks," "shoot," and the all-purpose "ugggghhh" are making their way back into my vocabulary from wherever I left them in 8th grade.
While we're on the topic, Ben also thinks that "Dangit" is inappropriate. I wholeheartedly disagree. What do you think?
(I find that it's generally healthy to poll the internet world when I disagree with my husband, don't you?)
Yesterday, Simon came into the kitchen and said, "Mommy, can I have some beer?" Being that we don't keep alcohol in the house, neither of us like beer, and I haven't had one since trying to impress an older-than-me ex-boyfriend years ago, I was a bit surprised.... and ready to call his preschool and find out who brought what to show & tell.
"Where did you learn about beer?" I asked Simon as casually as I could.
"From you."
Okay. So I won't be calling the preschool.
"Remember when we were watching tv and we saw...." He proceeded to recount a public service announcement we saw months ago about drunk driving. At the time, he asked like a thousand questions, which I tried to answer as simply as possible. But you try to explain drunk driving to a four-year-old and not have it come back to bite you in the butt.
I have a feeling Sy's preschool will be calling me. That would suck.
See ya, or as Sy has lately taken to saying, 
Peace out Suckas.


Naomi said...

Oh S. ... this made me giggle out LOUD!!!

Christina Marie said...

peace out suckas may or may not be a direct quote from uncle cool J

Marc and Kayan said...

They stash the things they know far far away and bring them out at the most random times. Why does my 5 year old know " smart" when we don't shop at walmart and we barely watch TV. We've had to calmly tell Adalae to not use Sh*& even though her grandparents do on a regular basis. So dangit, suckas, and even friggin' are nuthin!

Kristy M said...

I think dangit is fine, although my mom always said "ding dang" which still makes me laugh. Matt has been staying home with the kids for the past few weeks and he is about ready to go off the deep end. The other day he got mad at Briton and said, "kid, just eat your damn bottle". Ellie then said to him in her cute voice "Daddy, can I help feed Briton his damn bottle." It's funny now but I don't want to hear her calling it a 'damn bottle' in public.
By the way, the horses are adorable, I need to make them!

Sarah said...

My parents were pretty careful about what words they chose to use, and I've picked that up from them. If Steve hurts himself, I thank him afterward for biting his lips or uttering something about motherless sons of goats rather than going into a string of words I don't want the kids to repeat.
You need to decide how comfortable you are hearing an angry dangit from your children.
I like the idea of using profanity rarely and as a means of nondestructive emotional expression. But I'm so out of habit, that I miss the really good opportunities. Like when I realized I had been stung by a wasp. (I'm somewhat allergic.) It would have been a perfect time to say sh&*. The word out of my mouth was, "Dagnabit!"
Now really, who says that?

Tina said...

Kids are funny. I can't stand it when teenage girls tell their mom's "whatever". So I thought I would start that one young. My daughter things whatever is a naughty word. So when a baseball player got kicked out of the game I told her that he probably said a naughty word to the ump. She turns to be and says, "do you think he said 'whatever'?" Ha!

DrMommy said...

Love this post.

Gotta agree with Ben on the "dangit." Steve says "Doggone it," and it's all I can do not to bust out laughing when he says it while redfaced and angry. Bad wife, BAD WIFE!!

I have substituted some less than stellar language of my own with, "pickles," and "Jiminy Cricket!" All the syllables in the latter are somewhat satisfying.