Look at my beautiful girl's smile! It is just precious. Heart-warming.
To be honest, when I see that smile, all I see are the four pitt-bull teeth growing menacingly out of her gums. It's scary, really.
She's been biting me. I can't even really tell if she's doing it on purpose or if she's just experimenting with her new teeth. I tell her no. I flick her in the mouth. She screams. She hits me in the face. We both cry. She bites me again. Repeat.
As you can imagine, nursing hasn't been too fun lately. I don't love nursing when I'm not being latched onto with knives, and this has just been too much. She's almost 11 months old, and I can just stop. I should just stop. But that raises a whole mess of dilemmas. Let me present them here, and weigh in if you'd like. I welcome it!
- As much as I don't love nursing, I believe in it. Plus, I am very cheap. Breastmilk=free. Formula=not being able to afford the adoption.
- Just like I believe in offering my birth children "the best," I would like to be able to offer it to my adopted baby as well. Especially since the poor boy will have been raised on a steady diet of whoknowswhat and will be coming home to a country for which he will not have any antibodies or immunities or whatever it is you are supposed to have to fight off the germies.
- My plan was simple: keep nursing Taly at least until we learn the age of our new baby. If he's an older baby, I certainly won't be forcing it (disclaimer: I felt compelled to edit this to sound nicer). If, however, he is young, I will try to breastfeed him - both for the health benefits, my pocketbook, and the help with bonding and emotional attachment. I figured I'd just nurse her at night - just enough to keep up a milk supply.
- If I quit, I'm sure there are some things I could do when the time comes to get things going again, but according to my perfect plan, this just made sense.
- We're headed to India soon (more on that later). Do I want to be nursing in India, pumping in India, or using formula in India? Upside to nursing - no bottles or pump parts to wash. Downside - always having to find a place to do it. Oh, and the biting.
Too many questions. Too many teeth.