Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Before I'm 30, I want to...

I'm turning 30 soon. Seems like a good time to be introspective about my goals, and such, so let's see...

Well, I already found love. The kind that starts with a big "L" and is mysterious and spiritual and unconditional and that I'll spend the rest of my life trying to quiet the voices that tell me it's not real. I was born into the kind with the little "l" - the love that I will never, ever doubt because I'll always, always believe there are two people on my side. I was even lucky enough to find the other kind of love - the kind that manifests the big-L Love to me every day, the kind that I would die fighting for, the kind that knows romance is emptying the dishwasher.

And I've had babies. Beautiful babies. Two boys and a girl. And two of these babies I was blessed enough to be able to bring home with me from the hospital. The other I had to bury in an Indian cemetery, but I loved him fiercely and will never be able to talk about having babies without thinking of him.

I've trusted God to do the things I most earnestly did NOT want to do. Move to India. Apologize. Share my faith. Resist the urge to send angry letters to mean people. Forgive...well, at least try.

I've been part of something bigger than myself.

I've paid off my student loans.

I've half-way potty-trained my son.

I've gone back to school.

I've started to get over my fear of calling people on the phone.

So, that leaves me with....

..... hmmm, today all I can think of is, get my eyebrows done and paint my toenails.

I only have two days left and my list will be complete!

How's that for goal-setting?

6 comments:

DrMommy said...

What a lovely post. It's always good to count one's blessings and marvel at God's grace in our personal growth...but I must say, I think my 30s have been the best time of my life so far. So enjoy! ;-)

Kirsten said...

What a great list!

I'm 37 and I still have a fear of calling people on the phone. I dread it. Let me know if you figure that one out. :-)

Sarah said...

I can't tell you how encouraging I found this post.

Natalie said...

Can I tell you how much I LOVE your blog... 99% of the time (because I know you throw in some serious stuff there once in a while) I find myself cracking up LITERALLY outloud. You have a gift of sharing your life with others in a hilarious way. You are soooo missed. Wish I had done a better job of hanging out with you and Sy when we were back in Ohio.

Lindsay said...

i love you so much! i can't wait to journey in the 30s with ya!

Dad said...

Okay, the big day is passed, yet I know you continue to celebrate with Mark there, but how does it feel? Any different being 30? I wouldn't think so. Lord knows I still feel like 30 myself!