Monday, October 11, 2010

Sometimes there are issues others don't understand

In adoption, sometimes there are issues. Sometimes they're not major at all, but they are issues that you as the parent have to be aware of/ on top of, whatever.

Usually, non-adoptive parents don't understand. It's not their fault. Would you read articles about attachment and institutionalized behavior if you didn't have to? Me either.

Stacey at anymommy has some of my favorite posts about adoption, attachment, and dealing with it all as a mommy. I know, I know, it borders on annoying how much I link to her stuff, but each post really blows me away with her ability to put things into words that I only vaguely know how to express with rambling and ummmms, and studdering, and hoping people will understand what I'm trying to say.

The fact is that it's hard to explain this stuff to people. And, no, I don't really have a responsibility to explain it all the time, but there are people in our life who genuinely love us and our children and want to be supportive. And for those people, information helps.

So, for all of you who are adoptive mamas and want to read something that you'll truly "get," here you go. And for those of you who are friends with us weird adoptive mamas and want to know why we act like it's a problem when our kids hug you and not us and wonder if we're just being insecure or jealous, here you go too.  Especially if you're dealing with sending your newly-bonding child to school or childcare, this post is a great resource. And then just read all of her stuff because it's all either hilarious, poignant, beautiful or thought-provoking. And if you just read all her stuff then I can stop bugging you with the links.


Adrianne Thompson said...

I hate you Susie for making me read her posts for the last four hours. I'm tired, emotionally spent and most definitely better for it. goodnight. miss and love you :)

rarmatisfurr said...

I had a mini breakdown last night because Elsa has been really attaching to our nanny. No one understands like adoptive moms how hard this is, and as much as I love that she loves our nanny, it sucks that she sometimes prefers her.