Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Madness Setting In

With our dossier entrusted to the powers-that-be, and Taly's biting lessened (apparently she just need me to out her to the Internet), it is time to focus on The Next Big Thing: a family trip to India.

Tis the season for family vacations. To places like Disney World or lake houses or water parks. We pack up the kids and head over the ocean and through the woods to the Mother Land.

I am really excited. Really excited. Excited to do this as a family, and not to wait at home for a month while Ben gets to have all the fun. I am thankful that my kids, young as they are, get this experience. Simon doesn't really remember India. He thinks he does, but when asked about it, he always refers to monkeys, and I think monkeys are maybe the one kind of animal we didn't see in Bangalore.

American-ization has fully set in. Like his mama, he hates loud noises. It makes me laugh, because I remember how well he did as a baby living in the loudest country in the world (in my opinion. I haven't been everywhere). That kid slept through Diwali fireworks, dogs barking, vendors shouting, horns blaring. He never blinked, and now he freaks when I start the KitchenAid.

He hates getting dirty. When we lived in India, his favorite place to play was on a pile of dirt and gravel across the street from our house. I let him climb all over it until a rat beat me in a staring contest.

So, it's time. Time for him (and me) to reawaken the parts of us that the peace, quiet and cleanliness of America has lulled asleep.

It's hard getting ready to go back when I've gotten soft. There was a day when this freaked me out. When I would literally pray that my visa application would get denied at the Embassy so I wouldn't have to go. When I cried at the thought of the unknowns that my "country-in-law" presented.

Then a new day dawned. When I realized I was comfortable in my Indian surroundings. That I loved the adventure, loved not being able to control my day. I relished the challenges of power cuts and shady rickshaw drivers. My life was like a big puzzle, and I just had to wake up each morning and figure out how to fit the pieces together.

But, now, as I scan my lists - TO BUY - TO DO - TO PACK, I admit that that day has also passed.

Now, I live in the wretched in-between. Where I know there is more out there - more richness, more color, more life. But, I also know it's hard and dirty and noisy. I know I CAN do it, and that I WANT to do it, but...

....but, I have to adjust my kids to a new time zone. And since they're too young for Tylenol PM, it's not an option for me either.
....but, I'm pretty sure they're not going to love Indian cafeteria food. (Like I will?)
....but, it will be stinkin' HOT!
....but, we will all be sharing one room. For a month.
....but, I have to pack light. (um, I'll let you know how that goes)
....but, I will have NO internet access!!!!!!!!!!

In the big picture of global perspective, amazing experiences, life-changing opportunities, these buts are miniscule. But to a mommy of two, these buts seem pretty monumental.

We're excited. And thankful that this is our life. The logistics, however, are making me crazy.


Kristin said...

Maybe not Tylenol PM but how about a little Children's Benadryl? It was recommended to me by my ped for Wyatt's first airplane ride (due to his nervous tendencies)....just an idea to look into. :)

Anonymous said...

What a great post, on SO many levels!

Beautifully written - 'what has been lulled to sleep'

Natalie said...

Sad... no funny stories from you for a whole month?????

Heather said...

Exciting to get to go back to India! We haven't been back since November '07! I am so ready! Hopefully by fall...

What part of India are you visiting?

Stef said...

I don't think I can go a month without a blog update. :( I am so excited for you guys...I wish I could tagalong!

The Lembright Family said...

I'm excited and hyperventilating for you all at once (but much more excited!). We miss you guys and must skype when you return...I want to hear every daal and dosa detail! Safe travels and hugs to Simon and Taly!

Becky :) said...

Oh Susie, your entries often make me laugh and cry, this one was no exception! I am praying for all of your "buts" to fall into place. I pray you will once again release these concerns to God, fully, as I know you are diligently working on. Also, remember, God will help you carry your little ones through all the changes in the weeks/month ahead just as he is carrying you!
Have a wonderful time! Let us know if you find that monkey that Simon remembers!:)

Erika Duke said...

selfishly I am sad about no blog posts for a month but I guess I will be busy as well with a new baby. I will miss seeing you guys and will be praying for you and the fam!!

DrMommy said...

It just occurred to me that I might not see you again before we move, if you are going to be gone a month -- we will not likely be in church again after the end of June and will probably be leaving by the 2nd week of July...

Have a fantastic trip, many prayers for travel mercies and for your future baby...I'll be watching your blog and FB for updates!!

So glad to have known you, even for a short time...