Saturday, August 23, 2008


I'm having a great day here in Philly with Mom & Dad, but there are some things bothering me today. Here they are:

I am three days into a self-imposed sugar detox. I am trying to convince my body that it doesn't need sugar in any form. The long-term hope is that I can, like a normal person, eat a reasonable dessert after dinner. I'd like to break my current pattern of wanting cake for breakfast, a pan of brownies for dessert, and ice cream just to cool off. Hopefully some "baby weight" will come off in the process, but if all that happens is I can live without Diet Coke and m&m's I'll be happy.

Cry it Out?
Taly is 10 weeks old and many many circumstances have led me to sort-of accidentally adopt an attachment-style parenting. Because of all the traveling at her young age, I have decided not to let her "cry it out" in all of the strange beds she's been sleeping in. She's in a sling a lot. She sleeps in our room. This is all fine. But, I'm going home in two weeks and not only will I not have "help," I also have a toddler that won't patiently sit around while I spend an hour rocking her to sleep every time she's tired. Up to this point, she's let me rock/bounce her til drowsy and put her down without too much fuss. But, today she has started freaking out the minute her back touches the bed and will only sleep in my arms. So, today I had a little talk with her and told her she needs to learn to fall asleep. And I let her "cry it out" for the first time. It really was pretty painless. Let's see how tomorrow goes. And the next day.

Simon is adorable. He has gotten a lot more confident with new people and will gladly converse with anyone. He has even partially ended his long-lasting refusal to tell people goodbye or goodnight. But, he has developed some coping mechanisms to deal with his new forays into being adventurous and social. He makes excuses. He is so skilled (this is where the adorableness comes in) - he'll matter-of-factly explain to me why he can't do what I'm asking him to do. Do you want to get in the pool? No, I'm just getting warmer. Are you warmer yet? Almost. I'm just going to tie my suit. Ready now? Almost. I'm just going to wait for the water to get warmer. And so on.

I am glad that he is finding ways to give himself space when he's nervous so he doesn't deal with every new situation by screaming and throwing things, but this pattern of rationalization is spreading into other areas of life.

Today, Simon was asked not to play with something. He said, "I'm not playing with it, I'm just putting it in order." Translation: Don't get mad at me, I'm actually helping you and being nice and good. The problem is that his rationalization is getting deceitful and manipulative, and I want to nip that behavior right away! Which will take some skillful parenting on my part. Thanks to my mom for some good advice, and we'll see how this goes. too.

China and NBC
I love the Olympics, and have faithfully flipped between NBC, MSNBC, and USA for the past two weeks. But I am sick of NBC telecasters applauding China's hard work and "Olympic Spirit." China takes children away from families and forces them to sacrifice everything to make the Empire look good. The young athletes feats are amazing. But they are YOUNG and some haven't seen their parents in 12 years! And NBC chirpily reports this as if it's just that they are "dedicated." Please. In a diving competition, the announcer was quite casual about how the young diver was "selected" for diving in part because she doesn't like to eat and weighs 65 pounds. Great.

I am not degrading the accomplishments. The Pyramids and the Taj Mahal are also beautiful accomplishments. But they were built, not by the kings who wanted them, but by the slaves who died to make these men great. I would like to know how China's method of building an athletic reputation is any different. (I promise I'm open minded so please share another perspective.)

Missing Ben
Ben's in India without me, and I miss him and I miss India. I can't believe he's walking our streets, ordering Food Magic, and seeing our friends.

All of this is on my mind today.

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